As I’ve completed my “Sex and the City” marathon, thoughts and desires are starting to poke through whatever veil of reality I’m wearing. I’m turning into a person that I’m altogether unfamiliar with and I don’t have the social mirror to help me verify whether or not these new fantasies are crazy delusions or are genuine possibilities. I don’t have many friends in this city and I’m an incredibly indecisive person. I need the advice of others to help decide on even the simplest things.
I won’t comment long on how absolutely unsatisfied I am with Carrie’s ending, but I am. There, done. Review complete. Back to the real blog.
As for the person I’m becoming, I’ve done a lot of shopping during the quarantine. Summer of last year, I had an epiphany about how it is perfectly acceptable to love myself, my body, and adorn it with love. This epiphany changed how I approached shopping – I rip everything remotely interesting off the rack. I go into the dressing room with no less than one of everything that catches my eye. We’re talking approximately 50 pieces, depending on the store.
I’ve also gotten super keen when it comes to fitting. I don’t just settle any more. If the shirt isn’t right, it’s quick on with the next one. I’m not going to spend the time mourning how I like the top but the top doesn’t like me. Neither am I going to spend the money on something that I slightly like because it slightly fits under the assumption I’ll never find anything better. I can’t tell you how many pieces sat in the closet year round never being worn because it was only slightly right. Nowadays, I know I’ll forget about those items in about an hour. There’s no settling because honestly, there’s no closet space for “meh” pieces.
Although these shopping habits haven’t changed with the quarantine, the brands have. Why am I looking up Dior, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Manolo Blahnik? 100% it’s because of “Sex and the City” as I’m highly impressionable. But I seriously considered purchasing a Prada or Dior handbag with my hush money work bonus.
Oh, yes. As an essential worker with no hourly increase or OT incentives, corporate has decided to give us a clean, one-time bonus. So I’m going to take my hush money and debate on what to do with it. Dior might get it, it might go to Visa and Discover, or it might go into savings.
Something funny about browsing all the couture brands is that I found some to be incredibly tacky. I should mark is down simply and politely as “not my style,” but I think “tacky” is more appropriate. I get that there are particular patterns that designate the brand, it’s their calling card, lets everyone know how much you paid for the damn thing. But that’s just… not me.
Also, I’m incredibly limited on how I understand fashion, let’s be honest. It’s hard for me to pair items into an outfit or how to elevate an outfit into a look. Believe me, I’ve spent the majority of my quarantine learning about this stuff. I realize what a long way I have to go. Perhaps the Gucci patterns aren’t “tacky,” but they are beyond my scope of understanding.
Another itch that it is scraping its way to the top of my brain is the idea of living in Chicago. I’ve enjoyed each trip to Chicago, and the last was just perfect. I love the public transit, the access, walking where I need to go, the cultural communities, the museums and nightlife, I love the anonymity of a huge city. D.C. was even better than my Chicago trips with its massive amounts of museums and urban planning. Absolutely brilliant.
It breaks my heart at the same time because I just got home. Why am I so ready to leave? Am I ready to leave? The answer is unarguably “no.” I have no reason or any real desire to leave my family. So I believe that I can scratch this itch (also brought on by that stupid TV show) in two ways: 1. Visiting Allison and spending some time in Chicago to contemplate the move possibility first hand and 2. Getting more involved in Nashville.
I’ve already contacted Izamar and we’re going to have a standing appointment every Friday to go out, dress up, go man hunting, and just be in the city. I actually don’t know that much about Nashville as I feel like I “grew up” in Memphis. I started going out and exploring and dating in college, so there is a lot of Nashville to discover. I plan on finding those gems once the quarantine lifts.