fat fashion, Mental Health, Slice of Life

Fighting with Clothing, Round 1

My soon-to-be-sister-in-law is having a bridal shower this weekend. And while it’ll be nice to meet her family and be at a bridal shower for the first time, I have no clue what one wears to such an occasion.

Knowing myself, I started trying on different things today in order to get some indication of what might work for Saturday.

Although I’m trying to be proactive about the event, my brain is not being pro- anything today. I literally went through a good portion of my closet, cussing and fighting materials, flinging things around my room, tossing shoes, cursing myself for gaining weight over lockdown, cursing my small boobs, fighting my hair, why am I sweating so much!?

I couldn’t come to any sort of healthy, positive conclusion. Even though I put together four perfectly adorable outfits, there’s nothing for it when your brain is just being mean and hypercritical. And then you also remember you just ate your feelings in the form of lo mein and general tso’s chicken. And there’s period bloat. And you’re sore all over from the past two day’s workload. And you’re emotionally drained from a poor work environment in general. And you only got 3 hours of sleep.

So yeah, you walk away from the mirror because you’re only going to be destructive. Clearing the clothes pile can wait a while, it’s not hurting anyone.

It’s okay to recognize our faults, but it’s not okay to let them control us or deceive us into thinking we’re lesser than we truly are.

Tomorrow is a new day. We can try again later.

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