Dating, Slice of Life

Wrong Number, Don’t Hang Up

Life is funny. I promise you right now, I continue to live simply on the thread of hope that tomorrow will bring a funny story. The other day, my 0.000528% optimism struck pay dirt.

Ya’ll remember the stupid story about the Jet’s pizza delivery guy? Well, in true haha-life-you-so-silly fashion, that story was not finished.

About 2230 or so, I got a call from an unknown number. I chose to answer. We’d just got a group of new hires at work, otherwise I wouldn’t’ve bothered. The call lasted no more than three minutes:

Me: “Hello?”
Caller: “Hi, yes. Are you still in contact with my husband?”
Me: “Right, I don’t know who this is, so I doubt I know your husband.”
Caller: “It’s… uh, it’s Lisa.”
Me: “I literally know zero Lisas.”
Lisa: “Um. I think… you remember, the jet’s delivery guy… I’m the wife?”
Me: “Oh god. Okay. Uh, yeah, I remember but absolutely no I’m not in contact. In fact, I’ve discontinued all business with Jets, filed a formal complaint with the company, called the -800 non-emergency number, and told everyone that I got on the phone that if he ever showed up at my house again, I’d call the cops.”
Lisa: “Oh, okay. Well, that’s… good?”
Me: “And I immediately blocked all the numbers from your family that called me. Did you know a child called me!?”
Lisa: (long pause followed by a heavy sigh) “I’m just trying to get to the bottom of some stuff I… Look, I’m going through a divorce and trying to track some things down, and he’s still going around town doing the same stuff.”
Me: “I’m really sorry to hear that. But honestly, good for you. It’s good to hear that you’re not putting up with crap anymore and you’re making moves for your own happiness.”
Lisa: “Y’know what? You’ve been so much nicer than everyone else I’ve called during this whole thing.”
Me: (chuckling) “I’d imagine so. But it’s because we didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, I’m not the type to blame the other woman when the man messed up. And in this case, it was the decisions and actions of one man that messed up two women. And you, too, honestly. You’ve been super nice about it not coming after my throat.”
Lisa: “Well… it’s not your fault.”
Me: “And it’s not yours either. You’ve been super polite. You’re just doing what you thought right to protect your family, to protect yourself, and to protect your marriage. Kudos to you, honestly.”
Lisa: (absolute tone change) “Seriously though, if you ever need someone to talk to… or I dunno, want to get a drink or something sometime… you have my number.”
Me: (laughing) I need friends! I might actually take you up on that.”

I think it’d be nuts not to call her and see where this story goes.

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