POV: You get on a double-decker tour bus to god knows where, but it was $2 for a day pass and you’re lost. You’re certain to get your bearings here soon, you just need a landmark for reference. It’s not like you can get more lost that lost, right?
Tour guide Barbie gets on the intercom.
If you look to the left, you’ll see the ruins of April 2021. The dilapidated structures of what was once a mildly interesting, career-driven young woman, but who was left to the wolves in a shit storm of chaotic over-processing and a hurricane of depression. All that is left to us now, you see, is the outermost walls of the structure. Apparently, the originals thought to build the skin tougher than the insides. It’s fine, though, as later generations have used similar designs in their more modern areas. Contemporary engineers have improved upon the older design and their modifications are incredibly sound.
Coming down the hill now…
Rows and rows of honey suckle and standing water given by May 2021. “Leisure Fields,” the locals call it, though it is more prominently known as the Old “Wow-You’re-29-Fkn-Years-Old-And-You’reJobless-And-Basically-Homeless” Quarry. Either way you look at it, there’s a strange glow, isn’t there? Kinda like the Northern Lights but it smells like gym socks? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Anyways, the sublime combination of visual beauty overlaying the potentially unnatural smell of the area is something visitors are keenly aware of. It is unique to the region, and is so pervasive that the locals claim never to have noticed its onset or its presence. Please, in following with the tour guidelines we all agreed to, do not bring this up to the local population as they are, quite frankly, tired of hearing about it (and it’s a moot point as they don’t know what you’re talking about anyways).
We don’t have to linger here too long, but if anyone’d like to take pictures with the cut-outs, we can do so when the bus circles back around. It really is much more comfortable further down the hill, but there’s only the one road.
And here we are…
On the right side, we see June 1, 2021. You’ll notice the outdated, yet cheerful looking houses lining the street and the small gardens attached to each. Just ahead is the large field where sporting events, family gatherings, music and film concerts, picnics, and general social merry-making events are held as often as possible. Not to mention all the premier shopping centers completing the square! I see you ladies eyeing those window displays. Not to worry, we will be spending the majority of our trip here in the valley, so please take your time – there are cafes on every corner.
All this just to say I’m back, getting in the swing of things, and want to pick up the blog again. But be forewarned: hella, hella changes have occurred. It’ll be a somewhat slow process getting everything up, but I’ll work diligently to get it all out in a timely manner and make it entertaining (if not just for myself).